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Well, so far 2009 has been shitty. No other way to put it.
Had my colon scoped New Year’s Eve, figured the clean-out would do me some good, thought I could start the new year fresh, healthy. I did not realize that the cleansing would continue for 4 more days! On the upside, the doctor said there’s nothing serious going on; apparently, I’m just literally full of shit, and I need to work it all out. That may be more than anyone needs to know, but I’m a sharer, what can I say?
Anyway, after the scope, I expected to just sort of relax and enjoy my last few days of vacation, read a little, do some planning, grade some papers. But alas, it was not to be. A rundown of my life since Jan. 1, 2009:
Thursday morning, Dylan started exhibiting signs of the coughing illness that had plagued all of his cousins, and that he had heretofore been able to evade. As the day wore on, it became obvious that he was in the full throes of the sickness, and as he has been known to do in the past, was coughing so hard that he caused himself to vomit. And to keep vomiting, until he was finally saved by the dry heaves. A fever and lethargy followed that evening, and continues into today.
But here’s the really fun part: my kid’s really smart, and I dare say that he’s a tad manipulative. When he realized how much of a tizzy his parents were in following the barfing/coughing fit, and consequently how much attention it garnered for him, he continued the game. Now, he coughs a little when he doesn’t get his way, and if his needs for watching “Finding Nemo” for the 15th time in 2 days are not met, he coughs a little bit harder, until he somehow triggers his gag reflex, which then results in another barf fest. How do I know it’s not real? Because there are no tears, and he has certain looks he gives when he’s being mischevious - and those are the looks he gives us. I also know that he fakes it when he mysteriously stops when we ignore him. Such a precious child.
Where was I? Oh, yes. Jan. 2. Brandon’s annual post-holiday malaise set in, and he was unconsolable, distraught, and generally not happy. I went to the grocery store and to Target to get away from the gloom.
Jan. 3 wasn’t so terrible; Dylan threw up some, slept some, we watched bad family friendly movies on cable. I did have horrible neck pain from a poor night’s sleep with a sick toddler. My colon was still drooling. Last night was a bitch for sleeping, though, as D didn’t want to sleep in bed, didn’t want to sleep on the couch, and could only find comfort on the floor. With one of us taking turns lying next to him.
That brings us to today, Jan. 4. Dylan’s still sick, I’m dreading going back to work tomorrow. Everything was relatively quiet this morning, when all of a sudden, Lola starts foaming at the mouth, which is making motions like she’s chewing on a strap of leather, and then her body went rigid. Her eyes stayed open, but she was unresponsive, and her legs and head were trembling. It scared the shit (that was left in me) out of me - and poor Brandon. We came to the conclusion that she had a seizure - for no good reason, and after some internet searching and a phone consultation with my sister-in-law(who works for a vet), we discovered that Dachshunds are prone to having seizures, and that the only thing we could do is try to calm her down and let her seize. Great. She’s fine now, but that was seriously frightening.
Perhaps it’s needless to say, but I haven’t seen a whole lot of the 2009 world yet. I’m hoping all of this tumult is not a sign of things to come.
Ok, I’ve been nauseous for a little more than a week now. Nope, not pregnant. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. When I eat, I feel better, but about 20 minutes after stuffing my face, it’s back to the queasies. I’ve tried all sorts of shit to make it go away, but it won’t let up. I just want to sleep, because that’s the only time I’m not on the verge of puking. That’s the most frustrating thing; I want so very badly to throw up, but I can’t. It’s like being in purgatory. Purge-atory. Ha. I made a funny.
I really want to listen to the South Park Christmas CD right now. Don’t know how that’s related to my irritated stomach, but I figured when in the blogosphere, do as the bloggers do.
I wish I had a camera on this computer, so I can see what I look like while I’m staring so intently at the screen with my unwashed face and teeth. Wow. There are approximately 55 other things I should be doing right now.
ROFL:
i would totally fuck a cloud. if i could also become a cloud. i fucking love them.
damnit.
So good, so good, soooo good - but on my saddest of saddest days, I prefer “Black Sheets”. I’m a cliche. But I see a little light.
LISTENING TO…..Bob Mould ”Workbook”
i would recommend this for anyone who likes any kind of music. it’s quite simply wonderful
Ben - not happy.
Quick - On what date was the Declaration of Independence drafted and signed by Thomas Jefferson? On what date do we celebrate Independence Day?
If you guessed Oct. 10, 1768, you’re wrong.
I don’t know how many of my 11th-grade students didn’t know the answer to this question. We declared our independence from fucking Britain! We celebrate it every year! It’s the most important date in US history!
And for the last time, Benjamin Franklin did not “invent” electricity.
I was editing my facebook profile, and when it came time to fill in the empty box in which to write my “Interests,” I was stumped. I’m so uninspired anymore, and I think it’s because of my age. A month from now I will be 34.
When I get in moods like this, I try to remember what used to really stir me, what truly gave me pleasure. I think of music, of going to shows, of smoking Marlboro Lights over hours of cups of coffee, of talking to my friends about nothing, about eating at restaurants, and seeing movies on big screens. I think of drunken evenings dancing, sweating, searching for something more. It’s the big inevitable; you spend your entire life waiting, wanting a different life, something more. Something more.
I have everything I imagined I wanted when I was 15, when I was 19, when I was 21, when I was 25, when I was 30. I have it all. So, why am I so uninspired? I’m not unhappy; I’m just so very neutral. I don’t want the old days again. I like the rut I’m in. I just don’t want to remain here indefinitely. I need a shake-up; I need interests.
You ARE
(via davidryanadams)
So, I gave my stoods a quiz on “The Crucible” today, and one of the questions asked something to the effect of whether John Proctor was devout in regard to church-going and Rev. Parris, blah, blah. I can’t tell you how many of those kids didn’t know what the word “devout” meant. And many of them asked me what “contempt” meant, too. They’re 17-year-olds! Ugh.
I just saw a dude on TV getting a tattoo of a 6-point buck on his neck. That’s really stupid. Oh, look - Sarah Palin. She’s really stupid, too.
Oh, Ryan. *sigh* You make me squeamish in the very best way…
That’s right, beetches! I love Akron. I was so psyched today, alone in my car, blaring “Gold” just so happy to be alive and home and reveling in the fact that in a little over a month, I’ll be witnessing once again the mindfuck that is Ryan and the Cards.
Glad to love Ryan Adams
Ryan, you continue to rock my world, man. I can’t stop imagining you singing, tight jeans, crazy fucking hair, glasses, amazing eyes, fragile stance (even in your fancy socks) and super cute little freckle face dots. Damn. And that changeling voice; sexy, twangy, vulnerable, rockin’, sultry.
I’ll buy you a water. Or some tea. Then pour it over your hairy chest and lick it off.
I think I better go into my bedroom now.
Um, Ryan, you’re stealing my ideas. I ironed my Cardinal rose onto my denim jacket like, last year. Looks pretty rad, yeah?
SO glad you’re back, Foggy!! :)
i did it- i ironed my new patch on my new jean jacket (old one is so falling apart)…..so now i just gotta sew it.
i love LOVE sewing….it’s also used in practical magic…binding spells- crossing
also you can fish with it if yr super smart and have a beard
i have no beard today
so i’m just patching